3 Things Marriage Has Taught Me

Valentines Day is an interesting time of the year and it never fails to teach me something new.  So far I’ve learned about 3 hour Olive Garden waiting lists, 80 dollar rose bouquets, and this year I learned about buying a gift last minute due to regional snowstorms. All of that got me to thinking about marriage and what all it has taught me over the past few years. I’m only 23 years old and openly admit that I don’t have everything in life figured out. Especially marriage. In fact, marriage would probably be one the things I have figured out the least. It’s not that I have a bad marriage, because I don’t. I have an incredibly beautiful, Godly wife of which I can honestly say is my best friend. It’s just that God has designed marriage in a way that requires effort, selflessness, and relentless pursuit and I often fail. With that said here are three things that I’ve learned about marriage

 1. Marriage is hard… really hard

Marriage is the single hardest thing I have ever done. I’m not talking about the wedding, the honeymoon, or even the 1st year. I’m talking about the commitment, the responsibility, and the effort required in marriage. According to Eph. 5:25, as husbands we are to love our wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. This is no small task. Christ served the church, pursued the church, bled for the church, and ultimately died for the church. That doesn’t sound easy does it? When we treat marriage as if it isn’t hard, as if it doesn’t require conscious effort, and as if it doesn’t require sacrifice – our marriages will suffer.I learned this the hard way. I have to admit, sometimes I feel like I deserve an off day and sometimes I want to just allow my marriage and relationship to coast. Then I have to ask myself, “Did Jesus take any off days with His pursuit of the church?” I think God wants us to realize the high price Christ paid for the church.  So next time your questioning your marriage because its requiring more time, effort, and sacrifice… remember that it was designed that way.

 2. A peaceful home is better than being right

Apologizing isn’t easy, especially being the first to apologize. Apologizing requires laying down any pride and ability to be right, but at the same time it disarms the argument. When one party apologizes in an argument, the other party doesn’t have any ammunition left. It’s not that fun or gratifying to try to convince someone they are wrong if they have already admitted they were. I’m not saying it’s easy to do, because it’s not. I’m saying it is worth it to put a higher price on having a peaceful home than being right.

 3. It’s more about Jesus and less about me

There was a time in my life that I thought the pressure of having a good marriage rested solely on me. I was wrong. The truth is, the pressure of having a good marriage rests on my relationship with Christ. When a person pursues Christ the by-product of that is a life that reflects Christ. Humility, integrity, purity, and selflessness come naturally when you are in constant connection to the originator of those qualities. At one time I thought that our bank account and lifestyle regulated our happiness in marriage. Maintaining a nice lifestyle isn’t a bad thing, but when all my efforts are invested that way my wife is the one who suffers. Simply put – the more I put into my relationship with Jesus, the better I will be able to love my wife. [zephyr_divider style=”extradotted”]

So what has marriage taught you? What does your list look like? Leave a comment below.

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Tyler Speegle

Husband, blogger and serious coffee drinker. Passionate about helping others understand how to live relationally with God and escape a life of dry, mechanical religion so that they can live out their God given purpose.

2 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Tyler you are so wise…..beyond your years. It takes many marriages a lifetime to learn those three things. May God continue to bless you and your marriage

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